Trying to Remember the Auckland Races

by 21 06 19Auckland, Event, Musing

 

Kiwi Grand National – Boxing Day at the Auckland Races

The Auckland Races are New Zealand’s version of the Grand National, just without the horse deaths that come with hedge jumping. It’s a day of excessive drinking, questionable betting, and women wearing hats that defy logic and gravity. It also happens the day after Christmas, which makes it the perfect excuse to burn through whatever money you didn’t spend on presents.

I’ve been sitting on these pictures for almost three years, and looking at them now feels strangely painful. At the time, I was surrounded by great people but felt completely alone. I had just walked away from a long-term relationship, and spending Christmas on the other side of the world with no one to share it with hit me harder than I expected. I might do it again someday, but next time I’ll be mentally prepared for it.

Boxing Day at the races is a tradition. I was hungover from the weeks leading up to Christmas, but I kept the binge going in a suit I had rented for a work event a few days prior. I honestly couldn’t tell you what I was drinking, who I spoke to, or what I did. I can’t remember if I smoked weed or opted for a bottle of wine before heading to the tracks. The way I was killing brain cells back then, it’s no wonder the details are fuzzy.

All I do remember is that it was hot as hell, and everyone around me seemed annoyingly happy. It was one of those days where the sun was blistering, the drinks were flowing, and people were losing money left and right with smiles on their faces. It felt surreal like I was watching it all happen from a distance.

“My need to take pictures is probably a distraction from my inability to take the risk of having an engaging conversation with somebody on a human level.”

I’ve come to realize that my urge to take pictures is mostly about distraction. It keeps me busy so I don’t have to face the risk of actually connecting with people on a real, human level. But looking at these photos now, they do help fill in the blanks. They piece together a day I mostly forgot, letting me reconstruct the scents, the sounds, and the moments I didn’t fully experience at the time. They create memories I’m not even sure are real, but they’re all I have.

Sometimes, that’s enough.

 

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